I met Bart Simpson, not the ten year old, real one, but a 42 year old version...
I had yet another blind date on Saturday. After every dud one, I say no more, but my friends keep telling me, it only takes one and maybe the next date won't be traumatic.
Well, yet again, they were wrong. I gave in and had a coffee meeting with a guy on Saturday. He called to introduce himself and asked if I wanted to meet that week. I agreed and he suggested we could meet on Thursday night in the city, after he went salsa dancing (yup), which would be at, oh, about 10.30 or 11pm. Ummm, no, I'm in bed by then and CERTAINLY NOT meeting a newbie in the middle of the night. I recommended we start with coffee on the weekend.
There was a bit of a debate (by him) as to where to meet on Saturday for coffee. He lives about 20 minutes from me and said he never comes to my hood (my word, he's not cool enough to use it) because it's too difficult to park and I don't travel far for first dates, which from here on out, will no longer be called a date. We agreed on the closest mall seeing as there's tons of parking underneath.
He was already at the cafe when I arrived and the second I saw him, I nearly just kept on walking, but being the sucker that I am, I said hi and sat down. He was Bart Simpson with glasses...he had Bart's signature hair, very short on the sides and tufted on top, which si cute on a ten year old cartoon character, but on a real life 40 something man, it looks ridiculous. Plus, he kept twiddling the front of it in his fingers, like a little girl plays with her hair. ALSO, his boobs were bigger than mine. How do I know this? His horizontal-striped tee shirt was too tight. I wanted to laugh and take a photo to post on FaceBook and Twitter so everyone could see.
He was a sweet man, for someone else, but not for me and I was bored. To top off, as we were getting ready to leave...something I was very much looking forward to, he asked me whether food in this specific mall was expensive. Huh? Compared to where? Pre-made food, supermarket food, WTF was he asking??? We'd already paid the bill at the cafe, so I knew he wasn't planning on eating with me. I'm not sure he even knew why he asked, so I said bye and we parted ways, never to speak again.
I will not go on anymore blind dates
I will not go on anymore blind dates
I will not go on anymore blind dates
I will not go on anymore blind dates
I will not go on anymore blind dates
N x
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