My Rebuttal

I received some slack over the Grazia story, so I've decided to post my rebuttal here, rather than individually...

Firstly, let me say that the original story was written just about me and my plight to get pregnant in Sydney, using donor sperm from the United States.  I had breakfast with the journalist in NY...her asking me questions and a tape recorder taping us.  I know she would have all the facts straight, but when it was sent to the magazine, they reworded it and also added another woman's story.  In doing so, at least one of the most important facts, was omitted.  

It doesn't matter how whether the donor has had zero pregnancies, or five, since January 1st 2010, the New South Wales Government has COMPLETELY banned the importation of donor sperm into the state.  The closest "state" to me, is Canberra, as it's not part of NSW, and, the fertility clinic I am a patient of here, is affiliated with a clinic there.

I would like to point out that anyone who knows me, knows I'm far from "selfish"... in all aspects of my life.  However, being called selfish because I want to do everything in my power to have a baby, is, probably correct.  Deciding to get pregnant and have children is all about the parent(s) and not about the child.  You have kids for you, not for them, so you have someone to love unconditionally and to (hopefully) love you the same way.  Women want to experience pregnancy...this is not being selfish, it's just life.  The same as some people want to ride a roller coaster, or scuba dive...for the experience...and after they've done it once and loved it, they want to do it again. 

The fact that when I have my baby, he/she wont know the biological father, isn't selfish.  The baby will grow up in a loving environment with a lot of male role models.  Unfortunately there are enough kids around whose parents divorced and the father has disappeared from their lives altogether.  I believe this is worse than never knowing.  I have a girl friend who has three kids and her ex husband, who left when the youngest was only one, NEVER sees the kids. 

I'm able to do a couple more rounds of IVF, one of which needs to be successful.  You all know I'll post here when I start again, and until then, I'll keep you up to date with the rest of my life...

N x

Comments

[Green Tommy]

I think you are an amazing strong woman and love that you share your experiences on this blog. As women we all have our paths to travel and by sharing our stories we can only grow in wisdom. There are always going to be those that look down on others, but while they enjoy their perfect lives, we will continue to tread our own not so perfect ones!
Much love and crossed fingers and toes
Tracey

[42 Baby Project]

I am crossing my fingers for you!

[Ez]

Just to confirm - NSW has NOT banned the importation of US sperm into the state. Some clinics still offer fertility treatment with US donors in NSW. Good luck with the rest of your journey.

[Nicky]

Ez, all the clinics I've spoken to have told me the same thing, so can you please tell me which ones still offer imported donor sperm.

Nicky

[Janelle]

Wow, all this time I've never read your blog before.

You're my new hero. I'm in awe of your strength and resolve. I hope your dream comes true.

[Jessica]

I admire what you are doing. Ignore the haters and all the criticisms, because this is your decision, and only yours.

I am only young, so have not had kids yet...but I have actually already made a promise to myself that if I don't have a partner (and my biological clock starts a-tickin'), I want to go through IVF in order to have a child. I want to be a mother, and not having a man in my life is definitely not going to stop me.

Stay strong.
What you are doing is great.